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You know, I stopped shaving to think of something to write here. That worked out well.

Will Cooper @Coop

36, Male

Author / NG Mod

Old Skool

Vancouver, CANADA

Joined on 4/28/04

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Coop's News

Posted by Coop - April 9th, 2009

I have been released from the pleasure of the regime of Hu Jintao.

Thanks to this momentous occasion, I was rewarded with a medal on my return to the land of the free. Now I have been promoted for valour in the face of potentially having to set myself on fire for the freedom of Tibet (It was a big medal :P)

Yes, I am now a Review Moderator. While the BBS mods potentially will still mock me, I have now ascended to a position of (moderate) power, that I can delete the occasional review and ban people. AWESOME!

Of all the birthday presents I had, this is really the best one. Thanks so much you guys.

I'm going to try not to let the power go to my head. It's going to be difficult, but I think I can manage it.

Posted by Coop - April 1st, 2009

Morning all. Welcome to the people of China, who now have access to my rants.

As you've probably noticed by now, we have been accepted on the internet within the People's Republic of China. Bully for you. This has meant some sweeping changes to the way things work around here, so I'll try to keep this brief:

We will find other ways to communicate, while the government of Chairman Fulp... or is that Chairman Tom works out a way to peacefully co-exist, or run us all over in tanks.

I for one am happy for this, as it has left the General forum in a clean and peaceful state. Although I am still pending for approval for posting rights, albeit limited just to the Wi/Ht forum, I think that we can move on from the nuclear wasteland that is General and actually lead meaningful lives.

As you may notice, my time on Newgrounds will reduce quite significantly from now, as I Chinese Politics interferes with my own rational beliefs. As a Tibetean monk, it is my sacred duty to set fire to myself in protest at this move.

So, to all of you out there, whoever you are, it's been a nice time knowing you (or not) and may your god (or gods) go with you whatever you choose to do with your life.

Posted by Coop - January 17th, 2009

Woo! I'm back home, after the most awesome day out that I've ever experienced. I have shaken hands with greatness, shared anecdotes with pure genius and talked at length to a few of my Newgrounds Idols.

So all in all, it was certainly worth getting out of bed at 0700 this morning. I've been through the wonderful system of British transport that is the rail system and got to London Waterloo in one piece, eventually meeting up with Dangan and Lost-Chances, who were gathering at the same station, before moving to the London Eye to meet with the rest of the crew.

En route from the station, we considered how we would make ourselves known to the NG faithful. It was decided that if we could not spot anyone from NG, we would loudly declare "COCK JOKE!" and in theory, they would all respond, by loosely gathering.

Fortunately, they were all there and I proceeded to meet such awesome users as Andersson, Cally, Kirk-Cocaine, The-Swain and Luis amongst others. Then I was introduced to the mighty, but humble, TomFulp, by Swain, who thankfully took the picture below :)

As some of you know, I've been voted 2008's most underrated user, as according to some 41 users on this very site. Now that couldn't have gone by without some sort of material award. So, cue me with one tin of baked beans, one can of gold spray paint and one Newgrounds Sticker. Add the three together and I get one underrated prize that I can get presented with by the Fulpster. He was somewhat bemused by this, but he went with it, before we hit NAMCO!

Bumper cars, bowling, pool, drinking. We did them all. A very good day was had, involving meeting new people, mostly Moderators. I now fear EyeLovePoozy - he's huge, NEVR and BBM are a great laugh, although I did only get to see NEVR for about half an hour.

Next year guys, I think I'm going to have to stop over.

Newgrounds London 09!

Posted by Coop - October 23rd, 2008

I know it's a little premature, but I have been following my stats and have noted that today, the 23rd of October 2008 is that day that I, Coop83, shall advance to the top 50 B/Pers on this fine website.

As my erstwhile competitor, Newgrundling sits at 47,648 B/P, I am currently bearing down on him at a rate of knots. My pace has been good for the week and now I stand a mere 8 points from his door. Of course, this will change as the day goes on and hopefully, this rich, juicy vein of under judgement submissions will soon convert themselves into points to add to my totals.

**EDIT** This was made official at approximately 2200 BST yesterday evening. When Bahamut updates the top 300 B/Pers list, you will be able to see my glory immortalised in post form here

This leads me to focus my efforts on the Top 100 Blammers, as I am still only ranked #102. Sad times, for those seeking out Blam points. Still, I've got the means to climb, it's just that the gaps are a little on the large side at the moment. I'm ranked #32 for Saves, so obviously, I would like to address the balance of power there somewhat. If I'd have got 29k Blams though, I'd be right up there in the top 40, just as I am in the Saves market.

All this leaves me to do is to celebrate and make an update for the top 100 Responses list tomorrow :) That's always going to be fun.

Posted by Coop - August 15th, 2008

Angry Faic is present due to my neck feeling like it's herniated every single disc from my skull down to my shoulder blades. I've been up and sat at my desk since 0730 and we're now at 2255... I've spent about 15 and a half hours sitting at a desk wading through the stuff coming through the portal today.

Yes, last year's personal best of 498 Saves has fallen. I'm now somewhere around 748 Saves, with the official figures being released tomorrow. I've passed X-Naut and Major-punk on the Top Savours List, but must advise citizens that I have been passed by iscrulz. Please be vigilant, for he remains at large. Please consider him armed and dangerous and do not under any circumstances approach him.

But wait, there's more. I didn't just do this today, no! I had much more happen in my wonderful world this fine day.

1) I ordered a spangly new laptop, which will allow me to take Newgrounds with me to work, thus stopping any sarcastic comments about me using company machines for personal use. Trust me, it's worth it just to stop the hassle!

2) I won a competition. I received a cheque for £20 this morning for a magazine competition that I'd forgotten about entering. This will go towards the laptop fund... I only need to win another 29 competitions to break even now!

3) I had my photograph taken for the local paper - I was complaining about the state of the roads, as it's got beyond a joke to ride my bike along these ruts that have formed in the road surface. Cue face of disgruntled resident #27. This will probably get me disowned by my grandmother, as she can be weird about people wanting to be in the papers.

4) I did some good old fashioned DIY (Do It Yourself) *hur hur* Made a shelf to put my ever expanding DVD collection on and was testing to see if it fit in the alloted space, when my dad noticed that the shelf didn't fit flush to the wall - there was about an inch gap between the shelf and the wall in the middle, which was puzzling. Out conclusion is that the wall wasn't built straight in the first place. Fucking Cowboys! I then had to make a trip to the hardware store to grab a piece of wood, which was too long for the car. Cue me driving through town with a piece of wood sticking out of the passenger side window, threatening pedestrians.

5) You've never seen a lawn mown so fast in all your life. I managed to do that and get everything tidied up around it without missing a beat on the portal. Granted, the DIY Store jaunt did cost me about 30-40 points, but it's something to aim for during next year's Clock Day. I'm going to have to set my sights on the 1,000 Point mark, aren't I?

Oh and still no sign of that Blam that I've been seeking for two years on this date!

So, what's everyone else been up to? Stats? Events? Talk to me!

Posted by Coop - August 2nd, 2008

So there was a pseudo competition on the boards between gfoxcook and Bahamut about who had how many songs and how many artists on their iTunes collections. I felt that I had to wade in and throw my hat into the ring.

I CBFA to find the link of where this was, but I'm sure that either gfox or Bahamut will tell me where it was an I'll provide you with the link one way or another :P

Anyway, back on topic, what's on your iTunes? How long would your music last? How much file space does it take up?

I have 824 songs, which would last for 2.2 days and takes up 3GB of my hard drive space.

AC/DC (28 Songs)
Ace of Base (1)
Aerosmith (18)
Alice Cooper (140)
Alice Deejay (1)
All Saints (1)
Amen! UK (1)
Andrew W. K. (1)
The Animals (1)
Apollo 440 (10)
Ash (1)
ATB (1)
B.B.E (1)
Babybird (1)
Backstreet Boys (1)
Bad Company (2)
The Beastie Boys (1)
The Beautiful South (2)
Bellini (1)
Ben E. King (1)
Billy Idol (2)
Black Sabbath (1)
Blink 182 (1)
The Bluetones (1)
Blur (13)
Bon Jovi (1)
The Boomtown Rats (1)
Boston (1)
Bowling For Soup (1)
Brian Adams (2)
Buzzcocks (1)
The Cardigans (1)
Cast (1)
The Chemical Brothers (1)
Chuck Berry (1)
Chumbawamba (1)
The Clash (1)
Cream (1)
Crowded House (1)
The Cult (1)
Dario G (1)
David Bowie (1)
Deep Blue Something (1)
Deep Purple (2)
Def Leppard (2)
Derek & The Dominoes (1)
Dio (1)
Dire Straits (2)
The Divine Comedy (1)
DJ Dean (1)
DJ Quicksilver (2)
DragonForce (1)
Eddie Cochran (2)
Electric Six (2)
EMF (1)
Eric Johnson (1)
Eve6 (1)
Faith No More (1)
Faithless (1)
Fatboy Slim (10)
Flogging Molly (1)
Focus (1)
Foo Fighters (62)
The Four Tops (1)
Frank Sinatra (2)
Free (1)
Gala (1)
Gary Moore (1)
George Thoroughgood & The Destroyers (1)
Gun (1)
Guns 'n' Roses (14)
The Hives (1)
Iggy Pop (1)
Iron Maiden (16)
James (1)
Jamiroquai (2)
Jennifer Paige (1)
Jeremy Healy / Amos (1)
Jimi Hendrix (1)
Joe Satriani (1)
Joe Walsh (1)
Journey (1)
Judas Priest (1)
The Kinks (2)
Kiss (20)
The Knack (1)
Led Zeppelin (2)
Lion (1)
Lou Bega (1)
Louis Armstrong (1)
Lousie (1)
Lynyrd Skynard (2)
Madness (5)
Mansun (1)
Marilyn Manson (1)
MeatLoaf (18)
Metallica (11)
Moby (1)
Moloko (1)
Monaco (1)
Motley Crue (1)
Motorhead (1)
Muse (1)
N-Trance (1)
Nickelback (2)
No Doubt (3)
NRG (1)
Ocean Colour Scene (1)
Offspring (32)
Pearl Jam (1)
PF Project (1)
Pink (6)
Pink Floyd (1)
Poison (1)
Priestess (1)
The Prodigy (1)
Queen (39)
Queens of the Stone Age (2)
R. E. M. (1)
Rage Against The Machine (1)
Ram Jam (1)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (56)
Rednex (1)
Reel Big Fish (37)
REO Speedwagon (1)
Ricky Martin (1)
Robby Williams (1)
Rush (1)
Sash (3)
Shadow Puppet Heart (1)
Shaft (1)
The Shamrock (1)
Shania Twain (1)
Shed Seven (1)
Sheryl Crow (3)
Slade (1)
Space (1)
Spectre General (2)
Spin Doctors (1)
Stan Bush (3)
Stardust (1)
Status Quo (1)
Steppenwolf (1)
Stiltskin (1)
The Stranglers (1)
Stretch & Vern (1)
Sum 41 (1)
Sweet (2)
System of a Down (14)
T. Rex (1)
The Tamperer (1)
Tears for Fears (1)
Tenacious D (12)
Thin Lizzy (19)
Thunder (1)
Toto (1)
Touch & Go (1)
U2 (1)
Ugly Kid Joe (1)
The Undertones (1)
Underworld (1)
Van Halen (2)
Velvet Revolver (27)
Vince DiCola (6)
Wierd Al Yankovic (33)
Wheatus (1)
Whitesnake (1)
White Zombie (1)
The Who (3)
Yngwie J. Malmsteen (1)
ZZ Top (1)

So that's 172 Artists at present. I haven't even added Michael Jackson or Bach yet :P

So, what's on your iTunes?

Posted by Coop - May 4th, 2008

As you might know, I've been away for a short break with my lovely girlfriend to the Lake District. This was our first holiday together and we both had a wonderful time, thanks for asking.

Where is the Lake District?
The Lake District is a large national park, taking up most of the county of Cumbria. To get there by car, we had a 4 hour journey through the Midlands up the M6, passing such scenic locations as Liverpool (Hi Bahamut!) and Manchester.

We were staying on a caravan site in a village called Grange-over-Sands. It's about as far south as you can get in the Lake District without falling into the North Atlantic Ocean and meeting the same grisly fate as the Chinese Cocklers, who were caught by the surprisingly fast rising tide and sadly drowned.

Day 1 was spent mostly getting accustomed to the freedom of living alone for five whole days. The journey was horrendous, with spray on the motorway reducing the speed to 50mph, due to poor visibility. Once there, we explored and planned what we would be doing through the holiday.

Day 2 was when the holiday really started - Windemere is the largest of the lakes in the UK and we took a boat trip, with a video to follow soon... The trip was to the north of the lake, where we walked up a reasonably sized hill - about 2 miles in length and something around 1,000 ft above sea level - estimates based on how far we actually got. It was so good that we actually had to go back on day 3.

Day 3 had the other attractions that Lakeside had to offer - an aquarium / wildlife centre and the views of the old steam railway. Plenty of scope for protecting endangered animals and a good dose of industrialisation to go with it. Not quite a trip to the Motor Museum that I was hoping for, but maybe next time :P

Day 4 and we wnet back south to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The weather wasn't exactly spectacular, but we made a decent day of it. Though we didn't go into the Pleasure Beach itself, to join in the adrenaline fuelled fun, we did find some decent attractions, such as Ripley's Believe it or Not, which was amazingly informative. Of course, no seaside holiday is complete without a trip to the beach, which we spent most of our time dodging the incoming tide.

Day 5 was the trip down the M6 again, back to base. Bumped into a few soilders from the Royal Logistics Corps, who were moving a tank back south. That was certainly one of the best things that I could have bumped into and it certainly raised the spirits seeing that and the horrendous traffic jams that were in the opposite direction, while we were cruising at about 75mph.

We're back now and we did it in one piece as well! Now all that remains is to plan for next year's jaunt.

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Posted by Coop - April 16th, 2008

Okay, so we can embed videos in our blogs.

I feel so high tech now and I'm willing to embrace the new technology while showing off this wonderful offering. I hope you love it as much as I do...

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Posted by Coop - April 7th, 2008

Well, it's been quite an eventful brithday, I'll admit. I've done an 8 hour tour in the office, with my new T-Shirt on (see below), a decent workout at the gym and seen a few relatives. That's where the normality has flown out of the window completely for today.

I was expecting to have one birthday flash submitted by my friend Bahamut. He obliged here and I was mightily impressed.

Enter Afro_Stud. This guy has presented not one, but two birthday flash for me.That's incredibly touching, to say the least. Hehe, I'm touched :P

As the more astute of you will notice, I've also changed my aura to Neutral, in celebration of my birthday. I'm back in this colour, which has served me so well these past 4 years, possibly for good. I haven't decided.

Big thank yous to Afro_Stud and Bahamut, you've made me smile, to say the least. Craig, if you could oblige with about another 6 responses, I'd be most grateful :P

I'm not talking about the motorsport... not the Bahrain GP and Lewis Hamilton's return to earth, with a bump, anyway. I did see one of the most harrowing crashes I've ever seen. video link below the driver image, about 1/3 of a screen down. I don't want to spoil the surprise for you all.

One present left to open and it's from my girlfriend... Night all ;)

Birthdays, Presents etc.

Posted by Coop - March 16th, 2008

So as any followers of my ranting and raving about various disciplines of motorsport will be aware, my viewing of NASCAR started over a month ago, with the 50th Running of the Daytona 500 in Daytona Beach, Florida. That season is already 5 weeks old and, while my driver (Dale Earnhardt Jr.) hasn't won a race yet, he's one of the hottest races on the circuit, with 4 top-10 finishes. He would have had a clean sweep of top-10s, if it wasn't for some incidental contact with his spinning teammate, Casey Mears in the second race of the season at Califonia. He got the car repaired and ran race-pace with the rest of the pack, even though he was 30-something laps down.

Still, I managed to cost my lovely girlfriend more sleep than myself this morning, as I got up at 0430, local time to watch the Australian GP. A lovely sunny day, where the brightest talent in the long line of British F1 drivers for a very long time was taking his position at the front of the grid. Lewis Hamilton drove a near-faultless race to lead the standings, while most of his rivals came into trouble of some sort. You've got to laugh at the Ferraris, as they really had a torrid time, despite the fact that all of the pundits were saying that it should be their race today.

Reigning world champion, Kimi Raikkonen wasted a great opportunity, by passing Hamilton's McLaren teammate Heikki Kovalainen down the inside with far too little braking space. Kovalainen just eased off, letting his countryman overshoot the apex and dive into the gravel trap. You would have thought that the McLaren Driver was the reigning world champion and that Raikkonen had just started only his second season in F1.

Felipe Massa in the sster McLaren fared slightly better, picking a fight with a grizzled veteran, David Coulthard. He scythed up the inside and Coulthard didn't see him until he had made severe contact with the sidepod of the Ferrari (see the image for further details). Massa continued, only to have his suspension fail later on.

Rubens Barichello almost killed one of his refuellers, Jock Clear (who is no stranger to getting mown down in the pits - something similar happened last year, I believe). Barichello's lollipop man, who tells him when to leave the pit stall lifted the lollipop when Barichello was still taking on fuel.

As if that wasn't enough drama for the first race of the year, Timo Glock, driving the Toyota had a nasty incident, when he caught some air (only a couple of feet, but that's plenty) and literally tore the suspension off the car as he landed. I suggest that if you want to see any of that, check YouTube for some highlights!

I returned to bed at around 0630 to catch up on the sleep I'll need to get me through the last 4 days in the office until Easter. Woke my girlfriend up getting back into bed and she didn't get much sleep at all, but she's up now, playing Guitar Hero at almost 11pm, so she's still doing alright :P

Motorsport season is here!