Not bad, but needs refining
I think that there's lots of potential for this piece here, though it does need to be refined a little - the sounds are all of different volumes, which could also be seen as a little high, so toning them down could really help you out.
With the sprite based animation, you lose so much from the overall animation, just by zooming in. You use this and it really takes away from the quality, which is a shame. Start off with it zoomed out further and then maybe have the zoom shots to the level of the "regular" shots and the quality will increase by so much.
Some of the dialogue needs looking at - too neat and clipped, in essence. People don't talk like that and perhaps they would throw a few more words into the mix, to keep things chugging along for sound, while characters are exiting, for example.
Still, it's a decent start and onward to episode 2.
[Review Request Club]