Coop's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Adrellia Village #10]

You're making this hard for me. Really, with the fact that you're going a little beyond poetic licence, by stating that Drake knows what gears engaging sounds like. You've used too much of the "cheat" cut scenes and stuff that you've not made, so I can't give you credit for that. Re-using the scenes and just flipping them isn't all that much work, either, so it's kind of a lazy piece, especially when you throw in my pet hate of part voice acted lines and part text, with no vocals.

Most of this episode is chaff, where we get nothing to really advance the plot and it's just filler material. Given the time spent on this episode and the last, you could combine them together and not lose anything of importance, while still having a script of note, to really get the piece moving.

The ideas are essentially good, but I would suggest that you sit down and look at the scripts, before moving to the storyboard part of the process. This would allow you to catch issues and deal with them, before the piece starts to take off and you publish with issues such as you've shown here.

I'm not saying that you should give up, but learn from these mistakes and give yourself a chance to win some awards.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

The gears are the only "cheat" cut scenes I slipped in there that I know of. I'll be learning from these mistakes by episode 39.

Thanks for your review.

[Adrellia Village #9]

Too much "waffle".

Wow, this needs an overhaul - seriously, some MMOs don't give you that much of a tutorial in how the game works. You've shown us Drake's life bar, then forgot about it for the rest of the episode, so that can be cut as unnecessary. The lines which blur between you needing voice actors and you not needed them is blurry, which really needs to be addressed. With them as they are, you will find that it really irritates people unless you go one way (voices for everything, including thoughts, but with a little effect, to make them sound as if they are echoing within his head) or the other (no voices at all).

There was a lot of unnecessary filler material in this episode, which dragged the plot out to approximately 2.5 minutes, but I'd recommend that you take steps to put more substantial filler in there, else people will start to notice the plot holes. Better voice acting is a must, as is defining the characters through making them look different. Not their uniforms, as then they stop being "uniform", but giving them different hair styles, shapes of faces and so forth. These little touches make all the difference.

I feel that in this episode, you need to be ruthless and spare nothing from the wrath of a director, sending waves to the cutting room floor, speeding up the plot and getting towards the next art of the story. I hope that by the time we get to the 30s, we can start to see improvement of these episodes.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

With regards to the life bar, it will be used later on in episode 11 with the boss battle. Thanks for your review. #33 and on marks a good improvement.

[Adrellia Village #6]

For an episode with a sound track consisting of Enter Sandman, I was expecting a lot from this, but you've given me literally nothing to go on. Giving us plot that is exposed through two or three lines of text is plain bad. The writing needs the most work, so that you can then expand upon it in the story board section, followed by making it into a decent piece.

Sure, text gags have been used in Star Wars parodies for ages, but that said and done, we just don't put up a blank canvas and write on it, during a modern film. Express it without words, as a picture is worth a thousand of them. I write in a form that I one day hope will be professional, but that aside, I cringe when I see this shortcut used. In cartoon terms, it's the sort of shortcut that Homer takes and they turn up in the next scene with half of the car replaced with wood and a badly fitting wheel. I'm not sure why you gave us one tip about Drake hurting his elbow, but you can show that in some detail, easily. I can even relate to it, having chipped a bone in my elbow a few years ago.

Now, I want to see something happen in the next episode, so that it at least shows signs that you might improve later in the series. I'm fortunate to have seen some of the later ones, because I intend to nurture that progress and help you make the series better.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Thank you. The next episode is six minutes long and provides backstory, not necessarily plot advancement, but Drake makes it to Medrellia to warn the king.

[Adrellia Village #5]

"Can you hear that nasty sound?" Why yes I can - it's the poor quality voice acting. Not necessarily the voice quality was poor (it was, but only due to the single accent that all of the characters seem to have), but the mic caused annoying levels of static. Try turning down the sensitivity a little and maybe even having your voice actor standing a little further from the mic, just to reduce the overall sound picked up, so you don't overload your hardware.

The uniforms being entirely hand drawn need to be tidied up, just so we see them properly - the shield on Drake's uniform looks different to Rory's. Get that more "uniform" and it will look a lot better.

More occurrences of using photo stock for backgrounds and too little plot in your pieces, invalidating the "previously" part of each episode, but I guess that these had been made for a while, so additional work on them can't be expected just yet.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

It's not my recording, it's Flash. You won't see too many more photo stock in the next episodes, though.

[Strawberry's Break #1]

There's a good reason for me reading the credits - you were playing Tom Sawyer, by Rush. Now that I've fulfilled my urge for it, I've gone and had another look at the piece and must say the following:

Get subtitles - I need to see what's being said by whom, since the voices were unusually quiet, during some of the dialogue. The plot had reasonable progress and I liked the message, as those cookie cutter games deserve to be removed from the system in my opinion as well. But that's beside the point, because I'm commenting on the piece itself, not the message, per se.

I'm not a fan of you using stock images within your pieces - it really drags the quality down. I know that it's a clock crew piece, but you don't have to sacrifice quality to make the flash quickly. Some of my favourites are Clock Crew, so check them out and see what you think. They didn't cut corners... well, not all of the time.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Thank you for your review!

[Adrellia Village #1]

So it begins

A little short, but nevertheless, an introduction to the Adrellia Village saga. Where did you come up with that name from?

So, we've been introduced a little to Drake and his own personality, though the other jokes in the piece do take away from that part of the plot a little too much, considering the amount of material that you have here. I'd have made it go a little further fir the first episode, reaching perhaps the castle, before calling it a day in this world.

Some of the jokes seem a little lazy, though quite funny. Jokes such as "and they fought, killing two hours of Drake's time" it was funny, but could have used some sort of battle music in the background and perhaps the sound of dogs fighting, perhaps with the occasional sound of swords clashing, for example.

It does show how far you've come in a relatively short space of time, with these episodes and the quality, compared between then and now. It shows a good learning curve and that you're willing to experiment, to learn new techniques.

Best of luck with that, now on to Episode 2!

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Adrellia Village came from an old story I wrote long ago about warriors and demons in medieval times. The name of the town, "Adrellia" isn't based on anything specific and "Adrellia Village" sounded like an appropriate title.

Interesting point. Episode 2 sees him in the castle. Thank you for your review!

[contrast: a love story]

Incredibly deep and moving

Such a simple concept, one with black and white holding a symbolic torch of segregation. East and West, never the twain shall meet and so the issue is met head on (literally) by the female white dragon. Only in the flames of passion can such a barrier be transcended. This passion is shortlived and once gone, all is at an end...

I loved the use of colours with the subtle blue for the tear and the blazing red for the flames. It would have been very easy to overdo the piece with the colour pallette and destroy the fragile balance that the limited colours represent.

The sound is good and what a powerful piece of music that you chose to represent this from start to finish, again, encapsulating the mood in the piece to a tee. Did you pick the music with an idea of the concept, or did you hear the tune and just come up with a plot around that and then animate it?

Great stuff, keep them coming - you probably deserved a higher rank on the daily scores and perhaps Review Crew Pick as well, but what do I know?

[Review Request Club]

Horsenwelles responds:

when you wrote your review, this flash wasn't eligable for RRC! lol

thank you so much though, and no. i animated this and found the music later. the music didn't even quite fit until i edited down the original track, and then moved a few frames around. the rest seemed to fall into place.

[Adrellia Village #18]

Some improvement

But in other case, it feels like you've gotten a little worse. I like the way that this piece is getting together, but the way that you've done it, the pieces have taken a long time (and we're talking DragonBall fight time here) to come together. Shorter episodes may have seemed like the way to go, but making them longer, more detailed affairs may well bode better for the long run.

I'm not sure if you move the moustache of the wizard enough to communicate with him. Someone's mouth does not move less, because of a hairy upper lip - this is something from personal experience! Perhaps a hint of lower lip below the moustache would combat that?

With the girl's thoughts about her trainer, did we need all of that? Not really, as we could have worked out the trainer part and as for the voices there, if you wanted to convey that it was thought, perhaps put a little echo on it, so it sounds as if it comes from the inside of the head of the thinker, as opposed to having to do lip-sync, for example.

I feel that you're getting there, but little tweaks would help her and there. Oh and if you're going to make an outtakes reel, make one flash and put them all together, as throwing them int he middle of the piece may be funny, but it does derail the lot somewhat.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Thank you for your review!

[Adrellia Village #14]

Still lacking

Well, it's a little more plot exposition, but for me, this piece was quite flat. A distinct lack of voice acting is highlighted by subtitles and thought bubbles. This particular thing does nothing for me, so combat it by adding voice actors. Yes, this means more work for the animation, with lip-sync and so forth, but I feel it needs to be done. If subtitles must be added, try putting a black strip across the bottom of the frame and typing them there.

The Dragonforce part at teh start, when you strobed a few other scenes across the main piece was weak - it took away from the main animation, without adding any more to it. If you must add something, make it bring something else to the table, don't use it as a way of trying to keep track of the ridiculously fast beat of Dragonforce.

Dream sequences are a good way to develop the plot, though I'm not sure what relevance they have to the plot here. Hopefully, all will be explained in later episodes, so I'll refrain from bashing there.

It's a little short again, but at least there wasn't a long-winded recap of the plot to this point. The way that went on, you may end up with a whole episode dedicated to plot summary.

I'm looking forward to more from this series and how it works out.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Thank you. I'll request everything in order next time and I appreciate your input.

[Adrellia Village #8]

Too short

Another decent showing, but something a little shorter than what I was expecting - you could have put a lot more into the piece itself, giving much more plot, for what it's worth.

Little details caused issue here - the guards for Medralia castle being reflected was poor. I would suggest that you do the cheat, but make sure that the tabard (chest cover) is made to look right, otherwise the whole illusion is ruined.

With how short the episode was, giving us a "previously" section wasn't the way forward, as half of the episode is catching up and then only half is left to give us new material. I like king Jack, but I think that your stock of voice actors is limited, so perhaps consider asking around for more vocal talent, to give you additional dialogue for the pieces. That can only help, especially if they present a professional outlook on their own work.

Something is going to happen with this series, but getting to where this something happens is what you need to do now.

[Review Request Club]

MistyE responds:

Thanks. This was a "break episode" in that it still advanced the plot by having them go to the place they should but they chattered.

With regards to my stock of voice actors, I have 4 or 5 voice actors voicing for Adrellia Village now so that shouldn't be a problem.

The closest an Adrellia Village episode got to recognition was winning daily 7th. My clock movie, however, got 3rd place.