Somehow a little disturbing, yet, innocent
Ah, simple, disturbing and yet somehow childishly innocent - you've pictured Nene perfectly, with her own blend of malice thrown in there to make it disturbing, but barely.
I love the detail that you've put on her clothing, as the rest of the picture is quite simple, with just three colours on the entire rest of the picture, save for her and the cleaver. It's effective, yet I would have liked to see a little more in the background. Shades of the darker blues could have been used to give the background something to draw the eye around, as opposed to demanding the viewer's focus on the cleaver and what might have happened to person or persons unknown off screen.
Perhaps we'll have a crime scene, connecting to this, with police cars, CSI guys and a bloody streak dripping off shot...
[Review Request Club]
I like the form of this image, the way that the characters are captured in motion, as opposed to "striking a pose", which would normally take a lot away from the image that you've given us.
The cityscape that you've put in the background is nice and does a good job, considering it's just a silhouette. Perhaps the stars could have been a little more sparse, what about throwing in something that resembles a constellation, just to give the sky a little meaning. Pretty much everyone knows the big dipper or Orion these days.
A friend of mine draws in a similar vein to this - I'll have to show her, so that she knuckles down to try and get things up on here. I'm sure she'd love to discuss tips with you as well.
I'd love to see what the girl on the left is so worried about - it's as if she has seen someone doing something unsavoury on a nearby rooftop and regardless of that, she can't take her eyes off it.
A good start
I love the background of the piece, as my eye is drawn straight to the planet and the amazing look that you have for the planet and its rings. The "dust cloud" look of the background is nice, lending a look of the Aurora Borealis to the scene.
Moving on to the character, he looks good - humanoid, with a square jaw, but the devil is in the detail and melding his nose into his cheeks is a nice way to make him look inhuman, aside from just the skin. The left forearm does looka little on the large side though.
You've designed the cockpit well, giving space for two people to sit up front, where the point of view comes from. A question I would ask is where the steering equipment attaches to the main console - there doesn't appear to be anything connecting the two.
Finally, with the detail attached to the background and the character, you've let it down a little, by not tidying up the flow of the curves on the console and the straight edges of the display. If you try zooming in a little and attending to the finer details, you can deal with the issues at a more base level and when you zoom back out, it will look a lot better.
Still, this is a great concept and I'd love to see you take this further, be it to a comic, story or even a flash cartoon. Best of luck!
i'm glad you like it, i want to perfect a style before i start drawing a comic but i have already started a draft.
i think you'r review is fair and you mention some good tips, i might even go back and make a 3rd version of this one with textures and better line art
I like the way that this picture looks - I'm not sure about the title, as it seems a little ambiguous, with the way that I can't see how the potato is trying to be gangster. Unless you're making an issue of the potato being dark skinned, which would be pushing the boundaries of taste far too far.
The spotlight is good and the shading around it works well, as does the background detail that you've put in there - the bricks all look different, which adds so much character to the piece.
I'd like to see some more action in the picture, rather than just being in what I presume to be a police spotlight. Some sort of actual gangster action, such as a drug deal, extorting money with menaces, or posing with a gun, rather than looking a little gormless in the light, as it does at the moment.
well its after a highspeed chase when they corner him...
Needs touching up
I'd say that the effect of the piece is pretty good, though you could stand to use a little more in the way of colour and presentation - the lines coming from the eyes going straight over the top of the piece look messy and I'm unsure what they actually are - eye lazers, the eyes actually being out on stalks, much like in a Tom & Jerry cartoon, for example.
The shape is decent, but the back of the head looks a little angular. Softening these lines could certainly help you out, with the overall presentation. I know that certain parts need to look angular, like the ears, but the neck just seems an odd place to do that.
Finally, to give a little more impact, background and context could certainly help you out here.
Yea, I think when I did it back then that the lines around the eyes were meant to indicate brightness of its eyes as lasers shot out of them. As for color I do plan to do so in the future when I think of a color that would best fit it here.
For softening things up and redoing the ears and neck piece, I would be more than happy to try doing those in the future too so it looks smoother.
As for background, I guess a cosmic background would be nice.
Thanks for the review once again.
I have the say that in the presentation "post card" size, this piece looks most effective. Yes, you can enlarge it to where you can see the painstaking detail that you've put into the piece,
The overall effect is very pleasing and I hope you are impressed with the work - I know I've drawn stuff and not been all that happy with the end product, but this really is wonderful! The background is simple, yet practical and while you've put the title in the piece, it's strangely not out of place. Some of these things seem out of place, but yours blends seamlessly into the background.
I love the way that the eye draws focus to it - the whole effect is very enthralling and I'd love to see more of your work.
A shame about the size
The main issue that crops up here is the size of the image, which leaves us with something a lot less than it could be, since the thumbnails actually zoom in a lot more :(
Other than that, you've got a very nice looking drawing - detail levels seem great from this distance as does the shading. Please do get larger versions uploaded, as you're doing yourself a disservice, by not showing off your talents to the max.
Finally, a splash of colour would certainly enhance these pieces - did you draw them by hand or computer? If they're computer, the colour shouldn't be difficult at all.
Thanks for the review. I got a bit confused with the sizing. But hopefully its sorted now. Hope this looks a lot better!
Wow, that started to get "real" and the development process kicked up a gear. Sure, I'd like to see it in a horizontal "page" format, as discussed in my previous review, but that sort of thing wouldn't really affect the way that the story progresses.
Now we have the girl admitting to her belief in magic and on top of that the sensation that some sort of magic has happened and now she's woken up in a cafe, which she didn't knowingly enter. Perhaps she was asleep and was transported there with the idea of her getting there was just a dream?
The black and white colour scheme is awesome, giving us a great demeanour for the whole piece. Dark and mysterious really suits this and making the girl a borderline emo / goth type just seems to work.
I'd consider adding a few more characters to this now, because she's got this massive problem developing in front of her eyes and she's going to need to talk to someone about it. Someone that she can confide a little in, perhaps even a pet, that would allow something else to happen, like she discovers it can talk?
Anyway, I'm spitballing and you've probably got a few more panes of this piece planned out and maybe even written by now. Keep up the good work!
Good story, well laid out, with a nice few hooks in there, so that we want to come back for the next one. I'd suggest that you research the layout of comics and make this one more of a "comic book" style layout, rather than a thin strip that descends down a page like at the moment. I'd suggest Order of the Stick as a basis, since that is laid out horizontally, with as many frames in lines below as are required.
I love the black and white of this - it kind of reminds me of old Beano or Dandy issues (showing my age there!), when they weren't all printed in colour. The one difference is that this sets the tone for something dark and mysterious. I'm intrigued along with the story as to how this will turn out.
Perhaps in an introduction issue, the walking down the stairs took up a little too much, but as we look at it for now, you've drawn each frame really well and the setup does kind of work. You could see to lose maybe three frames, without harming the integrity of the piece, thus leaving a little more space for plot exposition.
Could you leave it on more of a cliff hanger? Perhaps as she leaves the cafe with this mysterious old guy, who is asking her if she believes in magic, something is said, that makes the reader think a little deeper, while they wait for the next issue?
The comic was drawn as 21 separate pages, but I didn't want to upload every one of them individually and flood my profile with the pages, so I linked them all together in two tall files.
A little "too perfect"
Don't get me wrong, this is an excellent piece of art that has great lines and definition for the character. Perhaps the forearms could have been better defined, with more musculature, to compliment the upper arms, which look very buff in comparison.
The weapons that are being used are very interesting - should they not have been complete horseshoes, to give them better rigidity in a punch situation? Perhaps I'm reading too much into the situation. The look is still very impressive though.
I like the background and it does offer some sort of "character selection" feel to the proceedings, which is slightly accentuated by the symmetry of the muscles and the tattoos that the guy has. Nothing is perfect, yet it looks like if you ran a mirror down the middle of this guy, he would look just the same, from either side. The hair does a little to offset this, but all in all, I'd still take some steps to make the tattoos just a little more imbalanced.
i love that "too perfect"
i think this would have to be the biggest review i've gotten on anything so far.
you'r right about the forearms but as for the blades this wasn't my design.
the background was kind of inspired by kirby crackel, kirby was a guy that (i think) did comics for marvel titles like fantastic 4, anyway the crackel is like a power aoura and i always wanted to try it out.
i don't know why i tryed so hard to make the tattoos symetrical, i only added the smaller details to it anyway
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