Distance isn't apparent
I think that from reading the note, I've discovered the real issue - you've not taken care to make the explosion distant from Ross Fenton. Some detail in the foreground, to imply that it's behind stuff could help you here. Search for perspective online and you'll see what I mean, hopefully.
It's a decent picture of Ross, but I've got to ask about the 1980s shoulder pads that he seems to have in his jacket. His eyebrows look truly massive, which is a worry for something like this picture. Put a little less emphasis and you'll see more results, as the face softens slightly.
Finally, the explosion needs some work. Writing "BOOM!" in the mushroom cloud couldn't make it any more tacky, if you tried. The use of colours was good, but I'd suggest that you use greys and browns for the dust, with a rippling explosion within, representing the fire beneath the dust.
[Review Request Club]
Thanks for reviewing. First off, he doesn't have 1980's shoulder pads. And his eyebrows are supposed to be massive and his mouth is supposed to be tiny. When i created Ross Fenton, those were the characteristics I put into his face. And your points have been noted for my future submissions.
A little basic
Okay, so the background has a fade, indicating the presence of a light source. Good, but a problem occurs when you fade too far either way, so you start with white and finish with black. Since you've not started with white, consider trimming the black a little and you'll end up with a better looking background. Also, consider curving it slightly away from the light source.
Moving to the foreground, you've messed up the shading entirely, since the light source is shining the wrong way to cast shadows on the left of shot, yet the face is in shade. The drawing isn't fantastic and you need to zoom in and use a smaller tool, to give you a better degree of control over what you're putting into the picture. More control gives much more detail.
Next time, you can think about putting other things in the picture, such as background furniture, rather than leaving a blank space, it looks untidy in works such as this.
Thanks for reviewing. And I agree with you completely. :)
Somehow a little disturbing, yet, innocent
Ah, simple, disturbing and yet somehow childishly innocent - you've pictured Nene perfectly, with her own blend of malice thrown in there to make it disturbing, but barely.
I love the detail that you've put on her clothing, as the rest of the picture is quite simple, with just three colours on the entire rest of the picture, save for her and the cleaver. It's effective, yet I would have liked to see a little more in the background. Shades of the darker blues could have been used to give the background something to draw the eye around, as opposed to demanding the viewer's focus on the cleaver and what might have happened to person or persons unknown off screen.
Perhaps we'll have a crime scene, connecting to this, with police cars, CSI guys and a bloody streak dripping off shot...
I like the form of this image, the way that the characters are captured in motion, as opposed to "striking a pose", which would normally take a lot away from the image that you've given us.
The cityscape that you've put in the background is nice and does a good job, considering it's just a silhouette. Perhaps the stars could have been a little more sparse, what about throwing in something that resembles a constellation, just to give the sky a little meaning. Pretty much everyone knows the big dipper or Orion these days.
A friend of mine draws in a similar vein to this - I'll have to show her, so that she knuckles down to try and get things up on here. I'm sure she'd love to discuss tips with you as well.
I'd love to see what the girl on the left is so worried about - it's as if she has seen someone doing something unsavoury on a nearby rooftop and regardless of that, she can't take her eyes off it.
A good start
I love the background of the piece, as my eye is drawn straight to the planet and the amazing look that you have for the planet and its rings. The "dust cloud" look of the background is nice, lending a look of the Aurora Borealis to the scene.
Moving on to the character, he looks good - humanoid, with a square jaw, but the devil is in the detail and melding his nose into his cheeks is a nice way to make him look inhuman, aside from just the skin. The left forearm does looka little on the large side though.
You've designed the cockpit well, giving space for two people to sit up front, where the point of view comes from. A question I would ask is where the steering equipment attaches to the main console - there doesn't appear to be anything connecting the two.
Finally, with the detail attached to the background and the character, you've let it down a little, by not tidying up the flow of the curves on the console and the straight edges of the display. If you try zooming in a little and attending to the finer details, you can deal with the issues at a more base level and when you zoom back out, it will look a lot better.
Still, this is a great concept and I'd love to see you take this further, be it to a comic, story or even a flash cartoon. Best of luck!
i'm glad you like it, i want to perfect a style before i start drawing a comic but i have already started a draft.
i think you'r review is fair and you mention some good tips, i might even go back and make a 3rd version of this one with textures and better line art
I like the way that this picture looks - I'm not sure about the title, as it seems a little ambiguous, with the way that I can't see how the potato is trying to be gangster. Unless you're making an issue of the potato being dark skinned, which would be pushing the boundaries of taste far too far.
The spotlight is good and the shading around it works well, as does the background detail that you've put in there - the bricks all look different, which adds so much character to the piece.
I'd like to see some more action in the picture, rather than just being in what I presume to be a police spotlight. Some sort of actual gangster action, such as a drug deal, extorting money with menaces, or posing with a gun, rather than looking a little gormless in the light, as it does at the moment.
well its after a highspeed chase when they corner him...
Needs touching up
I'd say that the effect of the piece is pretty good, though you could stand to use a little more in the way of colour and presentation - the lines coming from the eyes going straight over the top of the piece look messy and I'm unsure what they actually are - eye lazers, the eyes actually being out on stalks, much like in a Tom & Jerry cartoon, for example.
The shape is decent, but the back of the head looks a little angular. Softening these lines could certainly help you out, with the overall presentation. I know that certain parts need to look angular, like the ears, but the neck just seems an odd place to do that.
Finally, to give a little more impact, background and context could certainly help you out here.
Yea, I think when I did it back then that the lines around the eyes were meant to indicate brightness of its eyes as lasers shot out of them. As for color I do plan to do so in the future when I think of a color that would best fit it here.
For softening things up and redoing the ears and neck piece, I would be more than happy to try doing those in the future too so it looks smoother.
As for background, I guess a cosmic background would be nice.
Thanks for the review once again.
I have the say that in the presentation "post card" size, this piece looks most effective. Yes, you can enlarge it to where you can see the painstaking detail that you've put into the piece,
The overall effect is very pleasing and I hope you are impressed with the work - I know I've drawn stuff and not been all that happy with the end product, but this really is wonderful! The background is simple, yet practical and while you've put the title in the piece, it's strangely not out of place. Some of these things seem out of place, but yours blends seamlessly into the background.
I love the way that the eye draws focus to it - the whole effect is very enthralling and I'd love to see more of your work.
A shame about the size
The main issue that crops up here is the size of the image, which leaves us with something a lot less than it could be, since the thumbnails actually zoom in a lot more :(
Other than that, you've got a very nice looking drawing - detail levels seem great from this distance as does the shading. Please do get larger versions uploaded, as you're doing yourself a disservice, by not showing off your talents to the max.
Finally, a splash of colour would certainly enhance these pieces - did you draw them by hand or computer? If they're computer, the colour shouldn't be difficult at all.
Thanks for the review. I got a bit confused with the sizing. But hopefully its sorted now. Hope this looks a lot better!
Wow, that started to get "real" and the development process kicked up a gear. Sure, I'd like to see it in a horizontal "page" format, as discussed in my previous review, but that sort of thing wouldn't really affect the way that the story progresses.
Now we have the girl admitting to her belief in magic and on top of that the sensation that some sort of magic has happened and now she's woken up in a cafe, which she didn't knowingly enter. Perhaps she was asleep and was transported there with the idea of her getting there was just a dream?
The black and white colour scheme is awesome, giving us a great demeanour for the whole piece. Dark and mysterious really suits this and making the girl a borderline emo / goth type just seems to work.
I'd consider adding a few more characters to this now, because she's got this massive problem developing in front of her eyes and she's going to need to talk to someone about it. Someone that she can confide a little in, perhaps even a pet, that would allow something else to happen, like she discovers it can talk?
Anyway, I'm spitballing and you've probably got a few more panes of this piece planned out and maybe even written by now. Keep up the good work!
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.