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Cruise, Tom Cruise!

Simply the funniest one of the whole series that I have seen so far. Seriously, these are the sort of things that make coming to Newgrounds every day worthwhile. Simple, hilarious and rather well animated, considering it's just black and white lines, with an occasional attitude to other colours being thrown around there.

The plot is simple, though at some stage, I would like to see you set up a series and have the competitors move on to the next round in some sort of bizarre version of the MTV claymation "Celebrity Deathmatch" The end of the series would of course have someone crowned as the overall winner and therefore I would assume king of the world, until the next series of Versus rolls around.

You've clearly thought a lot about the plot and from the more humble beginnings, you now have a very saleable product, one which will keep people laughing and also keep producing these fine cartoons for weeks, if not months to come.

I'll have to go back and review the other 75, but I feel it will be worth it, from start to finish.

Surreal.

I loved the way that I was just expecting sex puns by your tag line "she just wants a meaty twelve-incher" and then I get slapped with a carnivorous cheese, bolony and mayo sub, chewwing off the main protagonist's head.

Yes, you were very clever with the fact that you appealed to the perverts, by giving them boobs and gratuitous nipple shots. Judging by the setting and the clothing she wore, I could see why the lycra was stretched over her ample bosom, but that's beside the point. Cracking the glass was quite amusing as well.

It could have stood to be a little longer, perhaps with more dialogue - make her be over the top enthusiastic and the guy behind the counter somewhat less than amused by her puns, innuendos and whatever else she decides to throw his way.

Keep up the good work, I expect that you'll be able to achieve yet another daily feature, even if it was just a little piece like this.

Short and simple.

The Pied Piper of Kentucky is working hard and wearing some ridiculous mask... *looks away* Hmm? Oh, it's a beard is it? - And as a result, there are plenty of deep fried pieces of poultry in the bucket, having been coated with special Tri-Force sauce and everyone is happy.

I liked this piece, as I was amused by the whole way that things panned out, but the mask that Link had to wear to get the chickens to follow him. My dad keeps a few chickens and I've never had to wear any sort of mask to get the buggers to follow me around - just show up with something that looks tasty, such as a mug full of corn and they will love you forever. Ever seen the "Piece of Candy" sketch in Family Guy, where they trap James Woods? Basically the same principle.

You could have done something similar for St. Patrick's Day, as this is allegedly how St. Paddy rid the Emerald Isle of snakes and also Link does look a little like a Leprechaun, don't you think?

The other question that I'd have to ask about this is how would the Burger King go about his business, or Ronald McDonald? Do they recruit other video game stalwarts, like Mario, Sonic or those sprites from Metal Slug, perchance?

[Review Request Club]

This piece needs a lot of work, like learning a few basics of poker and how someone usually plays a poker simulation.

Aces high is a term which usually comes up in poker, since the aces are the best value cards that you can have. I managed a pair of "bullets" and the woman politely informs me "you lose". Naturally, I was a little peeved with this, as the term Jacks or better would indicate a pair of jacks, queens, kings or aces. Not a big deal, but it does get to you after a while of playing. How can the ace be low, if a royal flush, the best hand in the game, have an ace at the very top?

Holding / toggling cards was the other major bugbear - I was dealt a flush and wanted to keep all of my cards - most games assume that you want to keep the cards and if you click on one, it flips it over, indicating that you require a replacement. Albeit a little naively, I clicked deal and promptly lost the flush, to my dismay. These sorts of issues are the sort of thing that gets people clicking away from your game, as opposed to on it.

The artwork of the cards was nice - did you draw them yourself, or borrow them from elsewhere? An option to speed up the dealing would be nice as well, since the game didn't have all that much flow for my liking.

Fantastic fun!

Well, this is another game to take up most of my time over the next few days. I'm glad, as I'll really be able t get my teeth into it and save the princesses... Well, I've already done that, but I want to get the rest of the medals.

The challenge is simple - build yourself up and use tactics with manoeuvring, to get the best possible launch, before you die from the monsters, or get melted by the lava that seems to be bubbling up, for some inexplicable reason. I'm not a geologist, nor a structural engineer, so I wouldn't know how that happens.

Still, the game is fantastic, with a great selection of powerups available and some lovely graphics, which reminds me of how long I wasted on Burrito Bison Revenge. Great days.

If I could have changed this around at all, I would have had springs and catapults on the walls of the tower, every now and again, to give improved lift, for our intrepid hero, but hey, that's how I do business.

Certainly something that I'll be coming back to, for my additional... 375 medal points.

[Review Request Club]

Guide book, with music.

Not really something that I expect to see on here. I've seen soundboards before and it's just a bunch of buttons that give sound bytes, so I'm not all that impressed. The rest is just pages of text files, showing people a few tips and tricks of how to play the game, which doesn't give me all that much faith in the submission.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that it's programmed well, but given that there's nothing really original to justify the use of flash, I can't award higher marks. I can write guides for games and wouldn't use a program to "animate" them, unless I had video walkthroughs - screenshots just seem like something that would be put in a blog walkthrough.

Sorry.

[Review Request Club]

I've heard better.

A shame that you can't really hear the vocal samples clearly over the rest of the track, but that's the risk you run I suppose. Should I be flattered, upset or just downright dumbfounded that this appeared here? Since its been done before, I'll stick to flattered.

I guess that you could have gone on my audio submissions and sampled my vocals here, which would have made more sense, but this is a pretty average method of extracting revenge.

The beat is good, but the additional sounds that you added to it made the whole piece appear a little too close to dubstep for me to appreciate it properly. Still, the effort required here has been focused, due to your forum ban, since you're focusing the bile into one stream, rather than spreading it out over a wide area, so I guess that helped.

[Review Request Club]

Good, except for the "stutters"

Don't get me wrong, the might of the classical genre has seen a generous nod toward it in this piece, where you have tried to meld it with more modern styles, which is acceptable, as it has been done before, though personally, I would not have gone with the stutters - it makes it sound like the track is buffering and I know that my internet connection is not that slow.

You've made a nice start with the basic classical sound and I think that I would like to hear it taken further, perhaps developed into something more than just a string backing track - perhaps combine it with synths, to give a different sound, but suitable modernised, to take it forward. I just think that while your idea is good, the execution alienates purists more than other tactics would.

It's something to consider at least.

[Review Request Club]

A little loud.

The sound of the track keeps "bouncing" off the upper end of the speakers, overloading and causing static feedback, which makes the track sound fairly horrible, without even taking into account my dislike of this genre of noise.

I like what the track was before you started messing with it - the strings are a very nice backing piece, until you mess it all up with the "wub-wub-wub" over the top. Classical music is much better than this, so leave it alone and we should get on fine, just with the addition of a bit of a bass beat, which works well. The synths are a good way to compliment the piece and you used them to good effect, but sadly I cannot mark it higher, because of the harsh sound that you give it for being too aggressive with the attitude on the track.

It needs to be tidied up, before it can be fairly judged, I'm afraid.

[Review Request Club]

I wonder...

What on earth would you have drawn for me in this sort of scenario? Possibly something involving me sitting behind a computer screen and "geeking it out", either by writing or gaming my way to victory. Some great little drawings, featuring some guys whom I have heard a lot of on the net, some whom I've not heard much from at all. Obviously, the two Newgrounds Stalwarts are clearly identified and their concepts are fantastic. Putting glasses and a pony tail on a Tyrannosaur is a novel idea and you really make it work.

While I'm less sure about corgis playing on an Xbox, or a computer screen ejaculating at poor pickleotez, I love the concept and the fact that you're really making it work for you.

Keep it up, I look forward to more of your stuff.

Clever.

The use of the light here is highly understated. Starting off with a dark room for the spy and then having pyro spark off a lighter at the tip of his fingers gives lovely dimensions to the piece as a whole.

Simple lines for the spy make him look rather sharply dressed, as opposed to just mad at pyro for blowing his cover. Perhaps reduce the thickness of the chalk-stripes to pin-stripes on his suit and make the tie look more like a well tied knot, than a mere line down his front, as a well tied knot can jut out from the collar in a statement all on its own ;)

Finally from the spy, I might have had a snorted sigh of smoke coming out of his nostrils, as the cigarette is smoked enough for him to have taken a breath in and out. There is no need for a look on pyro's face, so just the inclination makes all the difference to such a pose. A nice use of dimmed colours, to make it all look so dark, private and indeed surreal. Keep up the good work.

Trace?

I've just looked this piece over and thought that it looks like a traced drawing of the car, then overlaid with the design and detail that you wanted, to give it a much better look. The thing that really didn't look right was the fact that the Goodyear Eagle F1 is written upside down - any Goodyear tyre has the lettering written around the tyre the other way, with the top of the letter nearest the tread pattern. I'm not sure that the lettering would be coloured, except for gold on the sides, though black may be a good choice, so shading it with grey scale would also work.

Judging by the scene that you used, there is too much light shining off the surface of the car - the background appears to be slightly overcast, while you've got the car glinting through the sunshine, as if it were polished silver or gold. Also the question of where the light is coming from is asked, due to there being light reflected off the bonnet, front and rear wing, though not the driver's door. That seems very confusing, in my opinion.

Still, it looks nice and I wouldn't mind having a spin in it myself.