Coop
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Don't Escape
I'm a werewolf and it's a full moon. I have to find a way to prevent myself from escaping.
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3.53 / 5.00 13,097 ViewsEntry #64
Contingency Plans
7/16/12 by Coop
Well, it appears that the British summer is progressing smoothly and we're not a matter of inches from the River Severn bursting its banks in the middle of fucking July. I'm seriously starting to consider that the country is going to get washed away in a matter of months, so as a result must make some contingency plans.
Assuming that the UK is going to wash away, we need to find somewhere to go. Obvious suggestions would be mainland Europe, but not everyone there speaks English, so taking possession of France might not be an option. Plus, they've not heard of Scotch there, so I might not get along well, having to live off red wine.
The US is decent, though a lack of NHS does put a dampener on things, unless I become a very comfortable earner. I'm not that into city living, if I'm honest, either.
New Zealand and Australia have a massive advantage of the Cricket and Rugby, plus the chance to rub it in about various Ashes victories of late... if the UK has washed away, the prospect of home matches could be interesting, though. I'm not that much of a fan of the prospect of barbecued shrimp for Xmas dinner, with shorts and T-Shirt on. Xmas is supposed to be white.
In all seriousness, I'd probably go back to Canada. They speak English, I get a fix of ice hockey and baseball, the accent isn't as harsh as certain American local dialects, some of them know what rugby is and I have fond memories from my childhood - that's what life is all aboot.
So, if we sink, where are you off to, fellow Englishmen (or other UK residents). What about you, from other countries?
- 8 comments
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7/24/12
I guess I forgot to mention all the HOT, HORNY and AVAILABLE women here in the land downunder.
And lets be honest, Wiggins was due for a big win and didn't another Brit get 2nd also. England are on a sporting high at the moment. As for Cadel, riding with a ridiculously unhelpful team like he was, even as good as he is, he never stood a chance. I should avoid even mentioning the current English Cricket situation, even I'm embarrassed by it.
7/23/12
That is the goldest user Statshot that I've ever seen.
Damn.
7/23/12
Ice Hockey does indeed exist in Australia but it's not as huge as it is in some other countries. Also you can gibber incessantly about cricket as much as you like, Aussies are as much into cricket as the Brits are, if not more. And thankfully Ponting is no longer in the picture and a part of the problem. See you when you get here Bahamut!!!
No, the locals putting up with me gibbering about us being so good at cricket (today's result notwithstanding, of course) oh and we've just taken another title away from an Aussie - Bradley Wiggins taking Cadel Evans' Tour de France title away :P
7/23/12
I'd try to collect the water and claim it as my own
Who the fuck are you? Kevin Costner?
7/21/12
Going down under. Later guys.
Pop another shrimp on the barbie for me, will you?
7/20/12
Australia, Coop. It's the place to be. The economy is booming, there's less than 5% unemployment, the weather is great, the housing is great, the quality and variety of food is the best you can get and it's cheap and not to mention the alcohol is cheap too. Plus all the sport you can shake a stick at and more. Australia FTW!!
As far as I'm aware, there is no Ice Hockey down under. I'm not sure I'd like it, nor could the locals put up with my incessant gibbering about the cricket - a sport that they used to be good at, but now suck at, thanks to a chap named Ponting :P
7/18/12
We will pull through.
Like we always do.
A song is coming on.
Yes, but in that sense, we cannot pull through a hole the size of a 2 pence piece, unlike an octopus. There's a lesson to be learned here - we need to evolve and fast!
7/16/12
A good place to go would be one with good economy and not be a shit biased place like the UK. Oh wait, that's expecting too much from this shitty planet.
A lovely positive retort, Bahamut. A pleasure.