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Coop
You know, I stopped shaving to think of something to write here. That worked out well.

Will Cooper @Coop

Age 40, Male

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Vancouver, CANADA

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Posted by Coop - March 13th, 2011


Sitting at my desk on the 13th of March 2011, when I consider what's happened over the past few days, I'm not sure I can find the words to express myself. I'm listening to the local radio station, broadcasting the rugby match between Worcester and Bristol, as I try to come to terms with those feelings within me.

After many tense discussions with my girlfriend, we've decided to call it quits. This split was a lot more amicable than the last time we did it. A heated argument gave us the messy split last year and we patched things up, only to meet the definitive end here and now.

Clichés abound, mainly because they hold true. We have agreed to try and stay friends. It would be difficult otherwise, due to the fact that we enjoyed RPGs and games of Magic the Gathering with mutual friends. I've never been here before and it's a strange feeling to come to terms with.

When we broke up in the first place, I was relieved, as there had been a lot of buildup for all the wrong reasons. Reasons for breaking up tend never to be right, but as I think about this, we were just moving away from one another. I don't think that either of us was committed to the relationship and making it work out, which is sad, but when you've not made much progress towards setting up a home together in four and a half years, which eats away at someone who is looking for this, such as me.

I can't have a go at Bex, because she is a free spirit and certainly enigmatic, with the way that she wants to live her life. I guess that I wasn't compatible with how her plans have become apparent since we got together. I think that she has become a lot more of a person in the few years that I've known her so well.

Where do I go from here? Well, I've got my pastimes to keep me going, but it's going to be strange being about without having to worry about the other half for a while. Perhaps Miss Right is just waiting for me and things will happen, who knows what the future holds? I think I'll just try to relax, as I don't want to go diving into another relationship with my emotions as they are at the moment. I'll have more free time to get on with the things I've enjoyed over the past few years and perhaps my cricket will improve because of it.

I'm happy that we've sorted it out, but there is more than a tinge of sadness there, as it wasn't what I felt that the result would end up being. I've got a decision to make as to whether or not I hop on the train in August and head for London for a Newgrounds meetup alone. I can do it, so long as the money permits, which is a big problem, not just for me, but for everyone. I've got tickets to Iron Maiden in July with her and some friends, so for the sake of a damned good night out, I hope that we can stay friends at least that long.

She said that she would miss my family - the sad thing is that I'm not entirely sure if she will miss me - the clingy boyfriend who tried to get her to do stuff that she didn't want to. I'm still the only one that is (was) close to her that doesn't like the dog she acquired. Sure, I did some stuff that she wanted me to, but her patience with other aspects of my life had waned and her curiosity for other things had intensified.

I've been writing this for hours now - sitting in front of the computer, going away, trying to distract myself and then coming back for another shot at it, but it's really hard and I still can't find words to express it. Partially happy for the fact that neither of us was going anywhere as we were, so we're both taking a step forward. But partially sad for the fact that I've got four and a half years of memories with this young woman who I fell for and who fell for me. They are mostly good, but there are sad ones there as well. We were an item at my best friend's wedding and the holiday that we took in the Lake District in 2007 was unforgettable, to focus on the good.

Yes, I can go on and live my life anew, without her companionship as a lover, but it remains to be seen as to how I'll progress now regarded as a friend. Can it really be that simple a transition, as we both know each other intimately? This is a new chapter in the book of Coop and 2011 hasn't started too well, with the car crash and this hanging over my head, as well as trying to be the white knight, which also backfired on me.

I've had friends calling me, since Bex has arranged that we don't go Role Playing tomorrow night, since being thrust into the friendship situation, as opposed to being a couple might open old wounds. She knows that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that busting into tears at a friend's house isn't the way forward. I just wish that they would give me a little space, since after the messy split, they got me around to talk about it and after listening to me for five minutes, it was just them slagging off people I knew, which didn't help. I'll take my time and will come to terms with it. It still feels too weird, too fresh.

This time yesterday (10.30 pm), it was me being all pissed off, because so many things had come between us as a couple and no allowance was made by her for quality time spent with me. Some say that I have the patience of a saint. I disagree. I know that my temper has let me down more than a few times in this relationship and that is something I do regret. I don't regret standing up to her father, since he is just a bully and from my own personal experience, I won't tolerate it. At the end of the day, there were mistakes on both sides and if either of us sit back and look at it honestly, it was never going to work out entirely. Dysfunction is a dynamic of relationships tat you just have to work around, to a degree. There was too much in this one, as our interests were not shared to such an extent that we wanted such a different life each.

And so ends a shitty week. Let's hope for better things next week, eh?


Comments

Damn that is a shitty week. Chin up lad and play some Caesar 3.

I've been at Civ V - "Je suis Napoleon! Hahahaha! Nah, I'm just kidding, it's me, Bender!"

It is sad day. :(

Shame this has happened. I really enjoyed seeing Bex at the meet and I was hoping I'd see her again. Of course, the decision of the break up is only up to you two but it still sucks to hear the bad news.

Just take it easy for the time being, you hear?

I've got my outlets - I'll be busying myself with a spot of blamming on the portal.

Wow that's pretty shocking. Hope things get better Cooper.
<insert cliche about fish and the sea>

Relationships end every day. We would both be fools if we said that neither of us saw this coming. As strange as it sounds, we've ended it as well as I think we could have hoped, with good terms for both parties.

Oh then it sounds like you need to catch the next pimpmobile outta here.
Also I added you on Steam, I'm Fluttershy. WE CAN DISCUSS CIVILIZATIONS OF THE FIVE VARIETY.

Hot diggedy daffodil!

so sorry to read this :(

I'm feeling better about it now - It wasn't meant to be, I would be a fool to think that it was and waste my life trying to make it so.

Chin up, lad. You'll get through it.

I daresay I shall. It's going to be a long and difficult road, mind.

Damn dude, well it's better to have left off on a better foot than last time at least. Is this an indefinite done with thing, or are you two still going to just be friends?

Either way, as it's been said already: tomorrow will always be brighter. :)

We're going to try and stay friends - we play RPGs on Mondays and every other Saturday, so it's going to be strange if we just called it all off, because of the two of us.

We'll see how it goes - I want to game on Saturday, but she's not so sure. Perhaps it's a little too soon for her, but I'll respect her wishes, either way.

im sorry hear about you and your girlfriend man. I hope things get better for you and besides theres always the london meet up to look forward to

Provided I get the money in place - work reduced me to three days a week, now I have very little additional capital to work with.

I'll find a way, I think.

have a hug.. its the least i can do

Thanks man. I'm feeling better already :)

My sympathies.

I have to say thats not happened to me before. It's a shame for you that your girlfriend's Family was so uncompromising to your relationship- if it'd been me in that situation, I would have punched he father- but I guess I'm not you.

Hoping for the best.

~Heyno.

It's not that he had anything against our relationship - it's just that he's a fucking cunt. To me, to his own family, to anyone that stands in the way. I feel sorry for Bex for having to put up with him, but hopefully, she can find a way that is right for her.

I'm still her friend and the only person that can change my mind is either me or her.

I hope you find someone else, man, all the best.

All in good time. Thanks.

I just stumbled across your userpage but can somewhat relate to your story.

I broke up with my girlfriend (of not nearly as long) recently, and we were friends long before we saw each other. We're trying to stay friends, but jumped right in to it, and it's a hard thing to balance, especially when one person has feelings for the other. We're also in the same group of friends, and I'm good friends with her roommate(/sister). Seems there's no easy, natural way to go about it.

But that is quite a shitty week, and things always do get better eventually.

Things will turn around for me, I know that - I just have to deal with the "emotional speedbumps" that crop up in the path I'm taking at the moment.

Sorry to hear that Coop. I hope you and Bex can at least somehow remain friends. Though generally most relationship experts regard it as a dooming experience. You're both decent people though so I hope it can work out, and I'm sure in the future you both will more on gracefully and find happiness with other partners.

Most experts have never met Bex and I ;)

I think that we can work it out - we managed to saty together through four and a half years of thick and thin - we've both been through a lot together and it's changed our lives. I think that we're going to be friends for a long while yet.

That sucks, but at least you two are trying to be amicable about the break up...

I've been there done that, but I'm sure as you already know once the initial malaise wears off you'll come to realize why the relationship didn't work out, and hopefully use said revelations to find someone you'll really get along with in the future.

And of course there is always the red light district if you only wanna get your dick wet...

From what I've heard, the red light district comprises of one hooker in my home town - it would be like trying to have sex with the Goodyear Blimp. Plus a Russian Roulette of STIs.

HOLY SHIT, i just watched that part from the episode, Futurama S3 E12

your reply was

(I've been at Civ V - "Je suis Napoleon! Hahahaha! Nah, I'm just kidding, it's me, Bender!")

this was weird. and also, i hope your days and week gets better, hey just remember, a bad day, means a good day later.

I have been a Futurama fan for years - the quotes just stick with me, as do the voices :P

Don't go single for too long - women can tell (on sight) if you've been out of the relationship-game for a while. After two or three months, you'll have to start from square one.

I've got a good memory - I'll see how long it takes. If she's there for me, I'll have to make a play. Sometimes it just hits you and you've got to be ready for when it does.

Tough stuff. Hope it is sorting out for you. You may yet sort things out with Bex- I've seen it happen - but if I were you I would try and move on if you haven't already.

It took me until I was into my forties to find the right person. Its weird to look back on previous relationships that seemed so important and realise that though they were great experiences, I can manage without seeing any of those girls/women for the rest of my life now!

Try and find ways to help other people if you are sad, it takes the focus off yourself for a while, which helps.

Hope you do get to London, even if you are short of cash.

Women are weird, aren't they?

Well, I'll try to get my life sorted - we're past the birthdays now and I'm just trying to be her friend, while keeping an appreciable distance.

If everything goes as planned, I should be able to make it to London. We'll see.

Wall. Created fully out of text.

Knob